SOTA c32s01
Text Scrivener Blooms and Luna Brynhild had seen more than their share of different worlds: from the alien hell of Decretum, to the beautiful nearly-empty paradise that Looking Glass World had once been. Yet never had they seen a world quite like this before... a world that felt like it was almost entirely pure, a world that they knew just from stepping into it, had to be very close, on an inner layer of the spiraling ninety-nine worlds. But what augmented that feeling all the more was the fact that there was a sense of wrongness in the air: a feeling like something alien and terrible had taken root here, and as the four ponies, dragon, and Draconequus sat around a roaring bonfire they had built in a clearing in a forest, Discombobulation finally said quietly: “We shall see that at which dogs howl in the dark, and that at which cats prick up their ears after midnight.” “Yeah, I get that sense too.” Scrivener muttered and nodded, glancing awkwardly up at the sky. “It's in the holiest temples, where the blackest sacrileges leave the deepest scars.” Luna grunted moodily, and Twilight shook her head as she rubbed nervously at her face before saying finally: “And yet I'm the scary undead monster here. You two are starting to creep even me out, though. Can't we just try and be positive for once?” “No.” Luna, Scrivener, and Discombobulation all said in unison, and Celestia smiled despite herself as Twilight dropped her head moodily forwards. The three who had spoken traded amused looks, but then there was silence except for the crackling of flames as the bonfire burned between them. Finally, Twilight looked up and said hesitantly: “I think... I think we must be close to Ponyville. I know this isn't Everfree, but maybe it's Whitetail...” “Thou may be right. The forest does not whisper to me but it does seem familiar... although Everfree was always my territory.” Luna muttered thoughtfully, looking slowly back and forth. “Either way, though, Celestia shall guide the path. Her sense of direction has always been frustratingly-impeccable, and she has led us on what seems a true enough course so far through this forsaken wilderness.” “Except it's clearly not forsaken, Luna... there are signs everywhere that this place has been tended to, now and again.” Celestia said softly, and then she gestured up at the night sky, adding quietly: “And look above. Countless stars, but some of them don't belong, do they?” “Meddling with the constellations... aye, that is a sure enough sign of me, I suppose.” Luna murmured wryly after a moment, and then she shook her head slowly and smiled a little over at Celestia. “I always thought... 'twas the one thing I could do without thou noticing.” She paused, then smiled slightly as her horn glowed, adding mildly: “And here, allow me to share with all thee gathered here today one of my favorite constellations...” Celestia only continued to look calmly over at her sibling, as Spike, Bob, Twilight and Scrivener all looked up and watched as Luna concentrated, the stars slowly beginning to rearrange themselves before the mare grinned slightly to herself and declared, pointing up at the two vague circles of stars in the night sky above: “'Tis Celestia's Buttocks!” “I was really hoping we'd make a good impression Luna, but... I suppose some things are a little too much to ask and expect from you.” Celestia said wryly, and Luna huffed over at her older sibling before the ivory mare sighed tiredly and looked moodily up at the night sky. “I hope that doesn't attract too much attention. The average pony might not notice it, but the Princess Luna of this world might...” “Oh, don't be such a stick in the mud! By Loki, Celestia, do you always have to whine-whine-whine?” asked a voice crankily, and all eyes slowly turned to stare at the figure now sitting comfortably in a folding chair beside Discombobulation, as the Draconequus turned creakily to stare in surprise at a second chimerical creature that was resting calmly back and grinning widely, a large glass of chocolate milk held in one eagle's talon. His other forelimb ended in a lion's paw, that was tapping thoughtfully at the arm of the ugly little chair he was seated in, while one green-scaled leg was crossed over a deer-like lower limb, his red-scaled dragon's tail flicking thoughtfully. His body was covered with thick brown fur, but his head was equine, with a scruffy, goat like white beard and large, bushy eyebrows about mischievous yellow eyes with red pupils that were far deeper than they seemed. Two mismatched horns twisted wildly out of his skull, and he had an uneven black mohawk of a mane. A tiny bat wing and feathered, bird-like wing fluttered on his back as he absently tapped the single large fang standing out of his maw, and then he said mildly: “Well, looks like I'm not completely crazy after all. I mean, unless I'm imagining all of you, but I don't quite think I am. At least not today, anyway... puppy, I can't believe it's you, puppy! Don't you have a big hug for big dog?” “Sure, right here.” Discombobulation said moodily, raising his metal arm and flexing it slowly, as Celestia stared in amazement and Luna grinned despite herself. Scrivener simply didn't know what to think, while Twilight Sparkle was trembling slightly but keeping herself in check, despite the warm smile that had spread over her face. “Shouldn't you be petrified? Or dead? Or maybe in that big garbage heap in the sky?” “Ouch, that hurts me, puppy!” Discord retorted, leaping up to his feet on the folding chair, and then he yelped when it slammed closed on his legs and he fell backwards. Luna threw her head back and laughed at this loudly... but then winced when Discord appeared out of nowhere behind her and Scrivener and threw his arms around them companionably, grinning widely. “Besides, you think a little thing like the Elements of Harmony are going to keep something like me down? Hell no! I'm big daddy Discord... right? Right?” “Get off me, Draconequus. Thou art smelly.” Luna said grumpily, and Discord gave her an offended look before he hopped backwards and rose an arm, sniffing several times and then sticking out his tongue as he made a face. Luna huffed a bit, but she was smiling at his antics all the same as the red-eyed Draconequus made a sudden leap back over the campfire, landing beside Spike and making the dragon wince. Discord peered down at him for a moment, tilting his head back and forth, and then he snapped his fingers and remarked: “I kinda like it, kid, but that crazy enchantment on you? Wow. That's definitely not FDA-approved.” “References are my thing, Discord. Your thing was always being an enormous douchebag. Why don't you go do that?” Discombobulation said in a surly voice, and Discord tossed his fellow Draconequus an amused look as Spike shifted lamely: the dragon was dressed in a fairly heavy, beautifully-designed breastplate with the profile of a unicorn over the front of it, and he had a large, round shield slung comfortably over his back. His greaves and gauntlets rested beside him, and Discord peered down at these for a moment before he simply sniffed and bounced over to Twilight Sparkle. “Well, look at you! All grown up, just like Princess Party Pooper wants you to be!” Discord said delightedly, gazing over the violet mare: dressed in her heavy cloak, it hid almost everything but her wings and face from view as the Draconequus leaned down, reaching a single finger out to flick her horn as he began to speak some jibe... There was a small spark from the contact, and Discord froze, gazing down at her as Twilight looked back up, still smiling, but it slowly faded as the Draconequus only continued to stare in disbelieving silence. Then he reared backwards, his smile vanishing from his features as he reached up and covered his mouth, looking stunned into silence for a moment before he whispered from behind his lion's paw: “Oh, Twilight Sparkle...” Twilight closed her eyes and bowed her head silently, and Discord studied her quietly for a few moments longer before he slowly turned to look at Celestia. She looked calmly back at him, and the Draconequus hesitated before he asked quietly: “And I don't suppose you're anything like the Celestia of this world, are you? And here I thought this was all either a most delightful dream, or a wonderful bit of random chaos... seeing as the puppy showed up, after all, even if he has...” Discord looked thoughtfully over his shoulder, and Discombobulation held up his metal arm, saying in a soft voice: “This is reality. And reality may be relative to those who experience it, Discord, but in the reality I come from... things are a little different than the reality you've been living here. So Tia freed you, did she?” “Tia? That's cute.” Discord remarked wryly, and then he turned back towards Celestia, asking with cheerful interest despite the way his eyes flicked almost nervously towards Twilight: “So tell me, Miss Tia. Your world, oh, it wouldn't happen to be Helheim, would it? I'm just thinking that, you know, since puppy's gone all angsty and grumpy, and Twilight Sparkle seems to be a little... uh... not-alive... and there's a dragon with a crazy binding enchantment and a... well... I don't even know what those two are... you might all have crawled up from Hell. Just checking, of course. Polite thing to do.” Celestia only smiled slightly, and then she said quietly: “You're not far off, maybe... but rest assured. We're from another layer of reality, but we're here to help, Discord... so I take it... I wasn't as heartless in this world as I have been in others?” “I wouldn't say that, precisely, if I'm not a good little boy my punishment is pretty clear.” Discord replied mildly, and then he twisted his head back and forth indecisively before spinning on his heel and asking flatly: “Okay, okay, I have to ask. Puppy, what's with the giant prosthetic implant? You finally take a reference too far?” “You stilled me.” Discombobulation said mildly, flexing his metallic claw slowly as he looked down at it, and Discord looked taken aback before Bob smiled wryly and glanced up at his fellow chaos entity. “Then I kicked your ass anyway, big dog.” “What? Impossible! That version of me must have been lame then. Double-lame for stilling you, I would clearly never ever resort to that. Probably.” Discord paused, thoughtfully poking at his own nose before he muttered: “I must have been mad as hell to do something like that to you. How did you even get out of Ginnungagap, puppy?” “You died, in... our home layer, to send him to me. It's... it's complicated.” Twilight said quietly, looking down with a faint smile, and Discord looked over at her curiously even as he shifted away, before the Lich looked up and said softly: “I... I'm really happy to see you're free here. You never deserved... what we did to you.” Discord looked surprised by this, shifting for a moment as he studied her, and then he smiled a little and nodded hesitantly, seeming reassured by this as he touched his own chest and said kindly: “You're a much nicer Twilight Sparkle than the one here. She seems to be having a little trouble forgiving me for all the little pranks I've pulled over the years.” Then the chaos entity paused before clapping his hands together, looking thoughtfully up at the sky as he said mildly: “Well, I have to admit that I'm very happy to see we're all getting along here. I might even believe you all, and while chaos finds it oh so easy to start telling lies, good little puppy over there can tell you that we're much harder to lie to. And most of you ponies are bad liars, anyway. But so what the hell are you all doing here? Vacation? Sightseeing? Boring research mission? Exciting swords and sorcery adventure? Because I see you have plenty of both.” Discord pointedly gestured at where Luna had dropped her spear and quiver of javelins next to Celestia's sword, and Luna grinned wryly before she answered easily: “Aye, we do, and they will be put to use sooner rather than later, I expect. We are hunting a death entity and his master, Discord... perhaps thou can help us, or at least get us an audience with... Princess Party Pooper.” Luna paused, seeming to relish this as she glanced thoughtfully over at Celestia. “I like this name for thee. 'Tis fitting.” “I like you.” Discord smiled slightly, reaching up and stroking his beard thoughtfully before he glanced up at the stars and asked curiously: “Your work?” “Aye, 'tis the constellation Celestia's Buttocks.” Luna said firmly, and Discord giggled stupidly at this before hurriedly slapping his hands over his mouth and clearing his throat when Discombobulation and Celestia both looked at him flatly. “And creature, to avoid confusion, let it be known that thou may refer to me as Brynhild, Celestia as Freya, and my darling Twilight as Morgan. This is also my husband, Scrivener Blooms, and I take it thou recognized Spike clearly enough.” “Clearly enough.” Discord agreed, and then he dropped back as a pink cloud of cotton candy appeared behind him, falling into this like it was a floating bean-bag chair as he put his hands behind his head and smiled amusedly at Luna across the fire. “Brynhild, Freya and Morgan. And ponies think that I'm the weird one. I can't believe you three actually want to go and visit the Big C, though. Personally, I'm still a little sore about the whole 'being turned to stone for a thousand years' thing. Do you know how much good stuff I missed out on over that thousand years? And now I get back, and we have Chrysalis causing trouble and Sombra... by the way, genius move, really, you two. 'He's pure evil, so let's turn him into shadow and throw him in a glacier! There's nothing that can go wrong with this plan!'” “Chrysalis I am familiar with by now, but who is Sombra? Made of shadow... that sounds almost like Ignominious, or perhaps simply a wretched Nightmare.” Luna said thoughtfully, glancing over at Celestia, who simply shrugged calmly. “Oh, you don't have him where you're from?” Discord asked curiously, sitting up, and Scrivener winced a little and rubbed slowly at his temple as there was a quiet chuckle in the stallion's mind. The charcoal earth pony also couldn't help but notice the way Discord's eyes flicked to him for a bare second: the chaos entity was clearly as sharp as ever, even in this layer. “He's... unpleasant. Evil unicorn tyrant king, formerly of the Crystal Empire and all that. He's got a tiny little grudge against you ponies for blowing him up. Repeatedly. But since he's sentient shadow and all, the smallest piece of him left behind, well...” “He's Brainiac. Or Swamp Thing. No, Swamp Thing isn't a douche, let's stick with Brainiac.” Discombobulation said mildly, and Discord gave him a pointed look before the metal-armed Draconequus rolled his eyes, then snapped his fingers, and a pile of comic books fell neatly into Discord's lap. “Happy?” The red-eyed chimerical creature only sniffed disdainfully, picking up the first comic on the pile and holding it upside down as he opened it, saying mildly: “Shut up, puppy. I remember enough of the old days to know that I used to be in charge, even if you seem to be a free agent now. And hey, are those laser eyes? I've always wanted laser eyes. Puppy, think fast.” Discord glared over the top of the comic before beams of red light shot out of his eyes, but Discombobulation only calmly held up his metallic arm, and the beams bounced off his forelimb and became bright rainbows that arced back directly into Discord's wide eyes, cutting off the crimson rays as he flopped backwards on his cotton candy cushion and howled: “Oh god I've been maced by rainbows! Puppy, I'm going to slap you with a newspaper!” “Well, there goes that quiet camping atmosphere.” Scrivener said mildly as Luna giggled stupidly, and Celestia only sighed tiredly at the antics of the two Draconequus. Spike and Twilight, meanwhile, only sat back and watched awkwardly as comic books fluttered in all directions and Discord finally flopped to a halt, grumbling and glowering up at the sky before he rose a hand and snapped his fingers. Discombobulation winced as his metallic arm sparked, then turned bright pink, the claw transforming into a large, padded oven mitt as the Draconequus stared blankly down at this, and then Discord pointed at him without looking up as he said mildly: “Keep misbehaving, puppy, and I'll make the rest of you match your cute little accessory.” Discombobulation grumbled, then brushed moodily at his arm several times, the pink peeling off like cheap paint as he shook away the mitten, and then he said moodily: “Oh, this is just going to be the best night ever, isn't it?” Top ↑